Cornell University : Cornell Cooperative Extension

  
Yates Association

Reducing Holiday Stress

All too often the mad rush of a holiday season brings stress, tension and frustration. The joy that people expect is somehow lost in fatique and disappointment. Conflict arises when we look for too much from ourselves, from family members and the season itself.

We may try too hard to make the holidays perfect. We have idealized memories of our childhood experiences and we struggle to recreate those experiences. Also, the holidays often highlight what is missing in our lives. If we have experienced death, divorce, or a move, we become keenly aware of that during a season in which many families get together to celebrate.

Another reason the holidays can be so difficult is that many associate the season with obligations. We may feel pressure to spend, eat, send cards, buy gifts, to attend (or host) office and family parties, and pressure to be "happy!"

Here are some tips to help move through the holiday seasons with less stress.

  1. Get adequate rest, have a good diet, and maintain good physical health, and you will be less likely to make mountains out of molehills.
  2. Recognize warning signs of tension and take the necessary steps to slow down.
  3. Develop some satisfying tension-reducers which will work well for you, like taking a walk.
  4. Ask yourself, 'Is that my problem?" and you will be less likely to maintain a state of tension over situations about which you can do nothing.
  5. Learn to calmly talk over the things that bother you with the person involved. In this way you will be able to solve many issues and reduce tension. (You may increase tension at the time -- but skillful discussion can help you gain understanding.)
  6. Make decisions instead of postponing them and you will have fewer things to bother you.
  7. Sort out the really important things from those that will be of no consequence in five years. You will find a difference in your feelings if you can take a long-range look.
  8. Escape temporarily when you are faced with an insolvable situation. Later you will be able to look at it from a fresh viewpoint or will have built some energy reserves to help you face it.
  9. Develop the practice of asking yourself these questions:

What appears to be the thing that provokes my tension?

Do I want to change the situation?

How can I change it?

What can't I change?

If I can't change a situation, how can I change my attitude to make the situation tolerable?

Finally, seek professional help if you feel that you are in such a state of tension that your feelings about yourself and your relationships with family and friends are affected or if your physical health is affected.

Cornell Cooperative Extension Yates Association
Last updated: 8/28/01

top