Cornell University : Cornell Cooperative Extension

Preventing Child Abduction and Exploitation

A child's disappearance is one of the most frightening things that can happen to a parent. You can't be with a child every moment, but one moment is all it takes for someone to abduct an unattended youngster. Children can be taught to avoid problem situations and to obtain help if needed.

Parents can talk about Personal Safety in words children can understand. They can give their children experience in speaking up for themselves, establishing eye contact with individuals and learning when it is appropriate to scream, run away or yell for help. There are some preventative measures a parent can take. first, teach children to protect their personal space -- anything within a four foot circle. Tell them they have a right to keep others --people they don't know as well as acquaintances -- out of that space if they want.

Let children know that they should trust their own instincts. If they feel they are being followed, or if an individual is trying to befriend them and they feel uncomfortable, explain how they should get away and ask for help.

Encourage your children to buddy-up. It is important for children to be accompanied, particularly in more vulnerable situations such as walking to and from school, at a park, or in a store. Talk to your children about never entering unknown cars, an abandoned building or an unknown house.
Before school starts, establish who will pick the child up from school in an emergency and let the child and the school know who that person is. Discuss with them what they can do if anyone else ever attempts to pick them up.

Give your child a school routine: how to walk to school, where to catch the bus, who will wait with them. If your child walks to school, talk to them about which homes or stores along the way are open, in case they need a safe haven. Make arrangements with these individuals ahead of time as an emergency strategy.

Avoid dressing your child in clothes or accessories bearing the child's name. Someone intent upon abducting a child can use the name as a friendly come-on.

If your child carries house keys to school, make sure they are not visible to others. Keys are a certain sign of a child going to an empty house. Instead, pin the key inside a pocket, tie it inside a belt, or put the key on a chain tucked inside the clothing. Have a plan if the keys get lost.

Teach your child how to call home both locally and long distance. Children are old enough to know their own phone number by age three. Remind children that if they become confused they can contact the operator and ask for their assistance. Also make sure that your child knows his/her name, street address, city and state.

Encourage your child to ask adults for help, but point out the difference between a child approaching an adult for help and an adult approaching a child. Remind them that adults do not need to ask children for help. Adults might need some brief directions, but encourage your child to gain an adults assistance in meeting these requests. Adults must continue to learn that they should seek help from other adults and that children do not need to go anywhere with an adult or to provide help in looking for a lost pet.

Tell your children not to take items or to go with anyone without your permission. Discuss with your child that this could be a trick and that none of this is worth the risk if someone is trying to trick them. It is always helpful for children to check first with adults who are looking after them.

Talk to your children about who "helping" people are and where they can go to get help. If they are in school, they can go to
a teacher. If they are in a store they can go to a store clerk.

Let your child know that they will be believed if something happens. Reassure them that you will not be angry with them and that it is not their fault if someone approaches them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable.

To give children the skills they need to protect themselves, parents need to talk to their children about Personal Safety; about trusting their instincts and avoiding anyone who makes them feel uncomfortable. Parents can teach children without fear, but in a calm and direct manner that empowers the child to trust his own feelings and to act on these feelings.

Cornell Cooperative Extension Yates Association
Last updated: 8/28/01

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